If you scroll back to two years ago, you would never think I was a happy college senior. In fact by the looks of it, if you read those posts you would know I was a sad, sick girl who felt the world was against her. I was near the end of my rope; I felt abandoned, helpless, and alone. My friends pitied me, my parents were in hysterics, and I had no love to lean on. Not matter how I tried and changed my perspective, I couldn’t help but feel anything more than pathetic. I couldn’t wrap my head around how this happened to me.
Every day was a struggle. Every single fucking day. From the two-week span between Halloween weekend and surgery for cancer, I had no time to process my life doing a complete 180. Imagine everything flipping upside down in a mere 14 days. That’s 336 hours to consider your entire life. What was the next step? How would I pay for this? How do I tell my family and friends? How can I finished school? What if this doesn’t work? I went from carefree college student to real shit in the blink of an eye, and I hadn’t clue how to accept it.
It’s amazing to look back at all that and breathe a sigh of relief knowing it’s in my past. Far behind me. I think of that year as the darkest time in my life and am so thankful to have won. I remember laying on my bedroom floor one night during my radiation treatment just crying with fear and doubt about my future.
Today I am graduated, with a job, and have a happy great life. If I had traveled back to the past and told myself I’d be here two years from, I wouldn’t have believed it.
I will look back in these moments and smile because I know I have lived. I’ve experienced the lowest of lows and the exciting, wonderful highs of life. I’m forever thankful to have the opportunity. It really opens your eyes and make you appreciate everything more.
Acknowledge the life you live.