That title is an eye-catcher. Too bold of a statement?
*Way harsh Tai* Just lemme explain myself.
So now that we’ve nearly reached the year mark into our long distance relationship, that “talk” inches its way closer and closer into my head. It’s a constant pecking, a reminder to me that I live 500 miles away from the person I’m trying to spend the most of my time with. Does that even make any sense?
But the thing is, I’m not the only selfish one in this LDR battle of who’s gonna move first. We both love our respective home bases. He’s got the business there and I’ve got my family and my roots here. For some people it’s a no-brainer. You’ve lived in Austin your whole life, they say, he’s got everything there. Which I can agree with, but, uhm, excuse me, friends that I’m seeking council from, what about me? I thought you were here to talk to me about my options?
We both think we can convince the other to move. Great minds think alike.
My biggest fear is rather that one of us will throw in the towel over this whole issue of living in the same city. There’s only so much on person can bare. The back and forth, the tanks of gas, the expensive flights, the longing to be with another every night, not to mention everyone around you throwing shady glances like you’re doing something stupid. I will admit, it gets to me sometimes. No one said it was easy.
But my real question is, should I have to give up Austin? We can’t be long distance forever. I wish there was some sort of machine that could just smash Austin and New Orleans right next to each other or someone figures out how to bend the laws of quantum physics so I can be in two places at once. As much as I can dream, my reality is we are far apart. Nothing that an eight hour road trip can’t fix.
For those of you who haven’t kept up, this relationship started long distance, so we started backwards in our steps. You usually meet where you live, someone moves, and then someone follows. Or someone comes back. Or you both end up somewhere different together. I’m not sure I’ve had one friend who’s started a relationship long distance from the get go.
It’s a constant struggle in my mind. Some mornings I wake up thinking, Get me the fuck out of here, I need a change of scenery! But then by the end of that night when I’m out with all my best friends from childhood and having a blast, I start thinking, How could I ever leave all this?
It all comes down to choices. Am I too much of a pussy to try something new? I mean I lived in a foreign country for a summer. Is it any different? Nothing is set in stone. But I also worry that his business will remain permanently there and I’ll be stuck in New Orleans forever. And that uncertainty is what pushes me away.